25 Random Things from 2009...

Found this under my notes on Facebook, written the end of January 2009.  Thought it would be fun to share it again!



write 25 random things about yourself.

1. it baffles me that i get the same surveys on the same day from people that don't know each other. i wonder how this happens and who starts them. i am easily baffled.

2. i am a huge stickler for proper grammar and punctuation...except when i'm typing, i don't know why.

3. i love healthy food but if i could eat junk food all the time, i would.

4. one of my favorite words is gorky, a cross between goofy and dorky, i think i may have made it up.

5. i am more intelligent than i am willing to admit, again i'm not sure why.

6. i wish that there was some way to record my dreams while i was dreaming them, if there was, shrinks would have a field day with me.

7. i over analyze.

8. i always feel like kirby needs more attention and i'm being a bad puppy mommy.

9. there are some things that i will never tell people, that i know i should.

10. i do not miss the past, nor do i live in it, but sometimes i wish it had lasted a little bit longer.

11. i would love to be able to explain myself fully. i'm a lot more complex then i seem.

12. plain and simple, i love to read. 

13. i am beyond weird, even people that know me and know how weird i am, really have no clue how weird i am.

14. someone told me that i am shy but outgoing, which is exactly how i've always thought of myself.

15. i love tom petty and jimmy buffett.

16. it cracks me up that i was a cheerleader in high school, i loved it but never really took it seriously.

17. i am a girly girl in denial, the denial keeps winning.

18. i always said that i wanted to be a teacher when i grew up, actually i wanted to be one of the fly girls on the show 'in living color' and/or a backup dancer for music videos.

19. though i am a strong woman who believes in equality (blah, blah, blah) i can't help but love hip hop and rap music, which is so degrading towards women...but i still love it.

20. i will almost always do and say the right thing, i'm just too nice for my own good.

21. i am a black and white person that usually floats within a very large gray area, try to figure that out.

22. i love my husband more then i usually remember to tell him.

23. AJ drives me totally crazy sometimes but all i have to do is look at him and i smile.

24. i try my hardest to keep it from being noticeable but i think i'm a little bit OCD, though i come by it honestly.

25. i have a great memory but i remember the strangest things.

well my 25 is up, it was fun, maybe i'll do another installment in the future, just because.

Holidays

I love holidays.

New Years, Cinco De Mayo, Memorial Day, 4th of July, Halloween, Christmas and so many others.

The big ones, that mosts everyone celebrates, are fun because there are decorations and music and food.  Everyone is laughing and mingling, there is most likely some sort of alcohol involved.  Someone usually gets a little crazy and ends up with a bra on their head.  Wait, maybe I'm thinking of the movie Weird Science...anyway, it's just a huge party with family and friends. What's not to love?

Side note...I don't have much of a taste for alcohol ever since the kids were born but I will partake on occasion...very few occasions...if one of my few preferred drinks is available...and I'm in the mood...and the stars are alined...and I'm able to sleep in the next day.  Like I said, very (very, very, very) few occasions.  

Then you have the holidays that aren't celebrated quite so, um, festively but are still on every calendar you find.  Such as Earth Day, Grandparent's Day and Secretary's Day (also known by the more PC term Administrative Professional's Day)  But, I'm old school, I like to use pencil and paper and terms like secretary and stewardess.  I'm really just a 1950's rich, old, white guy stuck in a 21st century Stay at Home Mom's body.  I'll blame him for my baby belly too, it's really just his old man gut sticking out.

Semi-related question/rant...Are these holidays supposed to end in an S or an 'S?  I checked out a few and Mother's Day and Father's Day have the apostrophe but when I checked out Grandparent and Secretary I see it both ways.  Why is this not consistent?  If Mother's and Father's day has the apostrophe showing the possession of those days to the Mother and Father then why do Grandparent and Secretary just have an S or IES to show plural?  Would that day belong to the grandparents and secretaries also?  It does make sense either way, since it can be a day belonging to mothers or a day for many mothers, but which way is it meant to be?  Which way is correct?  Shouldn't it be the same across the board?  Does anyone have input on this?  Thank you...

But there are so many other holidays that are smaller and less well known but can be just as much fun and even sillier than a bra on your head (because come on who hasn't done that before?) (No, just me?)  (I mean, yeah, me neither...I think...?)

I'm sure by now a lot of you have heard of some of the more well known less well known holidays.  Did you follow that?
There is...Pi Day on March 14th, cause you know, 3.14
Star Wars Day on the 4th of May...May the Fourth be with you
and Towel Day on May 25th.  If you don't know yet, DON'T PANIC, just grab your Guide stick out your thumb and you too can celebrate this day with the rest of the hoopy froods in the Galaxy.

There are just strange one's like...
Gone-Ta-Pott Day which is the 28th day of every month and it's basically a day to say F**K IT, bitch about the day, week, or month you've had and then start anew.
No Pants Day which is the first Friday of May.  Walk around in your skivvies, but I suggest only doing this at home.  Unless you work somewhere very forgiving.
March 13th is Open an Umbrella Indoors Day.  Are you daring enough to ignore all the superstitions and celebrate this day?
Time to take you back to Elementary School, did you know there is actually a Backwards Day and an Opposite Day!?!  Both are in January...Opposite Day is the 25th and Backwards Day is the 31st.

There are tons of food and drink holidays.  You don't even have to think of ways to celebrate these!
National Popcorn Day is January 19th (though there is still some debate and may be a variable holiday) National Carmel Popcorn Day is April 6th (though I've also seen the 7th)
September 30th is National Hot Mulled Cider Day.
February 22nd is National Margarita Day.  October 4th is National Taco Day.  Along with Cinco De Mayo, those are great excuses to eat tacos and drink margaritas at least three days every year! Oh hold on July 24th is National Tequila Day, make that 4 days a year!!!
Peanut Butter gets a double whammy with National Peanut Butter day on January 24th and National Peanut Butter Lover's Day on March 1st.  Two great excuses to eat a very tasty and protein filled snack.
Ice Cream is even better with the whole month of July being dedicated as National Ice Cream Month and the 3rd Sunday named National Ice Cream Day.  But wait it gets better!  June 7th is National Chocolate Ice Cream Day, July 23rd is National Vanilla Ice Cream Day and January 15th is National Strawberry Ice Cream Day.

So what about today?  April 9th...
Name Yourself Day, so change our name for the day.  How about Princess Consuela Banana-hammock.
Then there is, Chinese Almond Cookie Day, mmmmm.
It's also, Winston Churchill Day.  To celebrate I was going to post a few pictures from Winston Churchill's Bunker.  Jasey and I visited it when we were in London in 2007.  But my computer doesn't want to cooperate.  If it stops being a bugger I will post them later.

There are so many things to celebrate and each is crazier than the next.  Have some fun and check out what's going on the rest of the month or what silly holiday you can celebrate on your birthday.  I'll try to keep you posted with some fun ones throughout the year.  Start with the one's I already listed to get you going.

A preview for tomorrow...April 10th is National Sibling Day.  Give your sib a call just to say Hi!  For those of you without siblings and for our foodies out there it's also National Cinnamon Crescent Day.  Make some extra for me!!!



Disclaimer...I have not gotten crazy and had a bra on my head...not that I can remember anyway.



Today I'm just thankful.

Unfinished...

In the past month I have started writing no less than 7 posts.  Some of them are still sitting in my Drafts folder which we know annoys the crap out of 'OCD Andrea'.  Others I started and stopped and erased so much during the writing process that when I went back to read it I had no earthly idea what in the heck I was talking about.  A few I completed but was so unhappy with them I said screw it, deleted the whole thing and just walked away from the computer (I love time well spent).  The rest of them were great topics, very well written, witty...and completely in my head.

I do that a lot.

It feels like at least once a day as I'm doing some mundane chore I think of a great topic to write about, but by the time I grab a pen to write it down it ends up as these weird scribbles of random words.  I remember why I wanted to write about it and the general idea but all the good stuff is gone.

Yet, that scenario is much better than this one!  I will actually start composing a post in my head.  I think of great little things to say.  Metaphors, one liners, life lessons...all while I'm driving to the grocery store or taking a shower.  Definite times I can not grab a pen and jot down these pearls of wisdom.  But I figure, this is my brain, all those thoughts are there somewhere, I just need to get writing again and it will all come back to me.

I'm lucky if I can remember the topic when I sit down, let alone all the fabulously ingenious thoughts that spilled out so easily as I strolled through the produce department.

Nope, instead I'm left with a scribbled topic such as 'naming my blog - meandering tidbits of randomness'.  Which as anyone who has read more than 3 of my posts knows that this is exactly what this blog is all about.  Absolutely nothing.  In case you were wondering, that is an actual word for word note I made to myself one day.

Let me explain.  No, that will take to long.  Let me sum up.

I explore other blogs whenever I can and one of my favorite parts are the titles that people choose.  There is this short little blob that is supposed to express what that person will be sharing about themselves.  Titling a book or a newspaper article has to be nerve wracking enough but they have one main idea.  Imagine putting a title to your whole life, right now, especially when you have no clue what will happen in your future!

Take, for example, my very first email address 'andy16foto'.  (don't ask me why or how I remember that but I can't remember a blog idea I had this morning).  When I was 16 years old and very into photography at the time it made all the sense in the world.  I was also Andy then, more so than 'DRE'.  Though DRE is dying out as well, sad but true.  Fast forward 17 some odd years and what the hell sense does it make now?

Which, (though I'm not sure whether I was rambling just now or gave any indication that this is where I was headed, but...), brings me to my random post idea about naming my own blog.  I had a family site to share pics with everyone and though it was great for pictures it wasn't very user friendly for more bloggy stuff.  So I started the blog, but, I wanted something that was going to be more for me and not just a place to share family stuff.  But being as I am a family person it still needed to include them.  I didn't really have a 'theme' for my blog which so many people do.

Theme examples...The ups and downs of a newly married couple.  A social, stylish and crafty single girl on a budget.  A raunchy tell all mom.  A college professor who crafts her way to a cleaner Earth on the side.  The DIY mom with all the tips.  The foodie that cooks a new recipe every night.

Then there was me.  Married, two kids, stays at home.  There was stuff I liked but nothing that I felt defined me or I put all of myself into.  I also had trouble thinking that anyone would ever give a crap about anything I had to write.  I am not an exciting person.  I like to sew, cook, bake, read...all hobbies, nothing extraordinary.  The only thing that did come to mind was dancing.  But I don't do that anymore.  It was a big part of my life for a long time but how sad would it be for a 30 something to focus her blog on her teenage dancing career?!?!  I still love dance but it was not to be the forefront of my blog.

But I do love my family, and it is here and now.  I love the flow of our life.  Always moving but never really knowing where it was going to go next.

So somewhere a long the way the saying 'moving to the rhythm' popped into my mind.  I couldn't think of anything else more perfect at the time.  I could easily add my family into that because we always just went with the flow in our marriage and parenting and anytime life threw big ass boulders in our river.  And of course there was the very direct indication of dance with movement and rhythm.  'Moving to the Rhythm' was born.

Though 'Meandering Tidbits of Randomness' does have a nice ring to it.






Today I am thankful that things always seem to work out.

INTJ...

I came across this little blurb about Introverts and, since I am one, I of course found it interesting.  Thus, I had to share.   It's '10 Myths About Introverts'...

Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
A world without Introverts would be a world with few scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers. That being said, there are still plenty of techniques an Extrovert can learn in order to interact with Introverts. (Yes, I reversed these two terms on purpose to show you how biased our society is.) Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.

I copy and pasted from this site  in case you would like to go check out the whole thing and to also explain why it has a black background.   

Also, there is This test from HumanMetrics.  Just answer 75 yes or no questions and it will give you your personality code. The four letters tell you whether you are...Introverted or Extroverted.  Intuitive or Sensing.  Thinking or Feeling.  Judging or Perceiving.

It will also tell you your percentage of one over the other.  I tested as INTJ.  Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging.  My biggest percentage difference was between Introvert and Extrovert a difference of 78%.  My closest was between Thinking and Feeling a difference of only 1%.  The other two were floating around the 30-ish% mark.   

So those of you that think I am weird or rude or flake out on plans too often, hopefully this will help explain why I am that way.  I've always thought of myself as an extroverted Introvert.  I like to travel and see new things and have fun with other people.  I guess it's just that 22% difference trying to get out that explains my extroverted tendencies.  But I am happy to get home and get comfy and lay in bed and read a book.  I like being an Introvert.  I like my own little bubble of life, I'm comfortable and happy in there.  

Jasey is completely opposite.  He is as much of an Extrovert as I am an Introvert, but it works for us.  Could you imagine if we were both Introverts and we were both home all the time?  

I would kill him.  

I can't even imagine being an Extrovert so I can't come up with any fun puny things to say about it.  But I'm sure it too would end in the demise of one of us, or at least a whole lot of fighting and a divorce.  And that is just no fun.

So, even though we sometimes get annoyed with how the other spends their time it works for us and we are happy.  As promised in our vows we respect and accept the people we are and realize that our ways are not the only way.  

So go check out your personality type are and accept who you are, no matter what it is!

Today I am thankful for the past long weekend and the fact that it is already Thursday.  I wish all weeks were like this!

Loving My Kirby...

Today is 'Love Your Pet Day'.  What better day to talk about our Kirby Dirby than today?

Jasey always wanted a dog.  I wanted a baby.  Our compromise was to get a dog when we had a baby.  So about half way through being pregnant with AJ we started looking for a four legged baby as well.  It was the first dog for both of us so we had a lot of researching to do and decisions to make.  Puppy, young adult or older?  Pure breed or mix?  Rescue or breeder?

We decided on a pure breed puppy from a breeder.  We knew we didn't want a small dog and of course we wanted something that would be good with kids.  We decided on a Boxer, we liked the size and the temperament and the short hair.  There are so many family dogs that have hair for days...not what I wanted when we'd be adding a newborn to the household soon.  We found someone that bred Boxers and Labs and was planning a litter soon with a Flashy Fawn and a Brindle.  Awesome we loved the Flashy markings!   She wasn't planning the Boxer litter for a few more months, though.  So it would be at least 6 or 8 months before we'd be able to bring a boxer puppy home from her.

Then wouldn't you know it when we contacted her she tells us she actually has a couple litters due in a few weeks, of Labs.  One yellow female (with yellow male) and one black female (with chocolate male) both due within a few days of each other.  The timing was perfect and Labs were on our original list so we talked about it a little bit more and decided to get our names on the list for a male Labrador Retriever.

This is one of the pictures the breeder sent us before we took Kirby home.  I'm not absolutely certain but if I had to guess I'd say Kirby is the one on the left.  He was the biggest of the 3 blacks.  The stance of the one in the middle is all wrong for Kirby and the front feet of the one sitting are too wide and turned out.

February 8, 2007 our first baby was born with 4 brothers and sisters.  A litter of 3 blacks and 2 chocolates.  (and only a day after the yellow litter was born) We saw him for the first time in person at about 6 weeks.  He weighed 16 pounds and tried to take a bite out of my big toe.  When I picked him up just under two weeks later he weighed 21 pounds.  If the toe biting didn't tell me what was in store for us then the 5 pound weight gain in 2 weeks should have really clued me in.  But I had a warm, furry puppy to cloud my brain and give me the baby cuddles I'd been waiting on and wanting for the previous 8 months.

  

Wasn't he so cute and tiny!?!?!?!  I think so too.  

That first night Jasey had a late night with work and school so at 10 at night I took him out before going to bed.  Instead of peeing like he was supposed to be doing he was sitting there staring at the crazy 8 months pregnant lady standing in her front yard crying.  I didn't even make it 24 hours before breaking down and second guessing our decision.  What was I thinking!?!?!  I was about to have a baby and I knew nothing about raising a dog!!  

But just over a month later, having never been a dog person but I was already in love with this little goofball.   (the mommy inflicted 'cape' is the blanket from his litter which he still has) (and yes, that is my very pregnant belly in the foreground)

When we got home from the hospital Kirby weighed in at 40 pounds, up almost 20 pounds in just over a month.  Oh boy!  AJ and Kirby were fast friends.  I was a little weary and cautious but didn't try and keep them separated.  They were going to grow up together might as well let them get used to each other.

And grow up they did.

Then another two legged baby showed up.  Jasey tried to convince me that meant we needed another dog but I don't think either of us were really ready for that.  Although it almost happened a couple times.  Kirby loved having a new baby around and I guess she tasted yummy cause he got licks in whenever possible.  I don't think he was more protective of Ryan but he definitely seemed to worry about her more.  If she cried he sat by her and kind of looked at us like 'hey, why aren't you doing anything about this?'  I think a lot of it was that he was a few years old by this time instead of just a few months old himself when we brought AJ home.  Either way he loved them both.  

He even liked to play ball with her.  She just wouldn't cooperate.  "What is she like 3 months old? Jeez, I could play ball at 3 months."

I love the picture sequence below.  He thinks he's being so sneaky.  :)

Like any kid he can annoy the absolute crap out of me but I still love him and think he is the cutest thing around.  

He has definitely made a place for himself in our family.  I couldn't imagine The Campbell Clan without him.  It makes me sad to think that he is already considered a senior in years when to me he is still a puppy, our puppy.

He loves to play and will chase any ball (they are his favorite toy) as long as you throw it.  He snores and has the cutest puppy dreams.  He is the smartest, and at times the dumbest, dog you will ever meet.  Though I'm pretty sure he's just pretending to be dumb when he doesn't want to do something. Which makes him smart and crafty.  He is a protector, best friend and foot warmer.  He is a true water dog, loves to swim and play in the hose.  He chases squirrels, ducks and cats.  It cracks me up, unless I'm not expecting it and the leash goes flying out of my hand.  He has no desire to wander to far from us and will come running back as soon as we call him.  He is such a loving dog, he loves people and will lick you to death if you pet him.  He answers to Kirby, Kirb, Bur, Burby, Dirby, Dirb, Goofball and Doofus Face.  

I still think he's pretty cute.  ;)

Today I am thankful that have such a great addition to our family.  He has opened my heart even more over the years.  

Disappointment and Love...

No, it's not what you are thinking.

I've been disappointed in myself in the blogging department lately.  I haven't been saying hello much in the past couple weeks and when I am here I'm only putting out sub-standard and blah posts.  

I apologize.

Even though I still have a whole list of fun post ideas and lots of little ever present crazy ideas in my head I have not taken the time to sit down and dedicate myself to any of them.

I said I'm sorry.  Jeez!

That's the disappointment.

Here's the little bit of love.

I am totally in love with a fabric from Harmony Art.  Harmony creates organic and fair trade textiles.  I've had my eye on her 10 Flowers design for a couple years now.  In the most simple words, 'It makes me happy'.  There is just something about this design that brightens up my mind and my heart.

Sadly I have yet to (be able to) purchase any, which also puts my fabric addiction into a tail spin.  I must acquire some of this fabric!  I feel as though my life depends on it!

I have to look at the picture of the fabric, with it's happy, endorphin spreading capabilities, just to calm myself down.

It's a terrible cycle.

I'm sure you are interested in seeing a picture now right?  Here it is so you can check it out, know what I'm going on about and I can spread the '10 Flowers' love.

If anyone is feeling generous and wants to send me a yard or two of this fabric I would not object. I would also probably weep with happiness when I saw it so make sure it's wrapped in plastic first.

Work through the disappointment and spread the love!







I am thankful to have both my kids home on this chilly day, so I can cuddle them and be cozy, toasty.

A Little Bit O' Fun...

Someone posted this on Facebook.  I asked them to give me an age and then I would blog it.  I don't do much posting on Facebook and I try not to post anything too long.  If it's more than a couple lines it is blog material to me and I don't want to repeat myself all over the place.  That's probably why I never post anything on my Twitter or Instagram accounts, I will occasionally think 'I should check that more' but never do.  (If I'm supposed to put a little trademark signs or something then please forgive me, I would have done it)  I also would like to take this moment to say that I do not 'like' things on FB or any other social network for that matter.  It does not mean that I don't like whatever you have posted, I just don't 'like' things.   Also, I know I could have made this shorter and more to the point but I am a rambler, so, moving on...

I was given the age of '22' by Cindy.  A very good and very fun age for me.  So here goes...

At 22...
I lived - the first part of the year I had just moved from WPB living with my mom to Oviedo, FL with my cat Katze (she was awesome)  I miss her :(  I was in a three bedroom house with two other girls, one had a dog the other had a cat as well.  About half way through the year I started driving to Atlanta every couple weeks then eventually packed up my room and moved there.  I 'lived' (all of my stuff was there anyway) in a little, stand alone 'apartment' behind a house in an older neighborhood in the middle of Atlanta where I was, seriously, the only white person around.  I really liked that little place and all the neighbors knew me and were really nice.  Though all of my stuff was in the apartment, a lot of the time I stayed at my brother's house just south of the city.  It was warmer there.  I had an old space heater at my place, which probably would have caught fire, even if it was off...and unplugged.

I was dating - In Oviedo, I met B through some mutual friends I think the first weekend after I had moved into town.  He lived about 45 minutes away so we usually only saw each other on weekends.  We never called it a relationship, we were both at the age of 'I'm going to find myself' and whatnot.  We were both Aquarius', our birthdays were a week apart, same year...a little too alike at times.  We were close and there were feelings but not the right kind, it was hard on both of us.  I went on a few other dates in Oviedo but nothing memorable.  In Atlanta, I was seeing two guys G and R.  B and I would still hang out when we could get together, and I reconnected with someone from my past.  (yes at 22 I had a past) (and yes I am well aware of what this sounds like)  I told you 22 was a fun age!  :)  To top it off both of the guys in Atlanta were still technically married.  Now before you go calling me a home wrecker both of them told me that they were divorced and I did not know until a couple months down the road that that was not entirely true and they were only separated.  I stopped seeing both of them when I found out.

I drove - a White, '95, Chevy S-10 pick-up truck.  It had an extended cab with the two little folding jump seats in the back.  Manual locks and windows, just how I like cars, I'm not too keen on all this power stuff.  I loved that thing and had it for about 10 years.  I drove that thing all over the place.  It had gone from Key West to Tennessee to the Outer Banks.  I would have driven further but ended up flying to those places.  It was my second car.  I'm actually only on car number 3 now, I tend to hang on to cars.

I feared - I don't think at that time I feared anything.  I knew it was a possibility that something could happen to me on all my excursions and I didn't want my mom or anyone to have to go through that but as far as my life went it was just me so there wasn't much to worry about.  Though if I had to pick a fear it would have been that I wouldn't be able to have kids.  Not that I would never meet someone, I was confident I could do that ;) I was worried that when the time came I would be unable to get pregnant.  It was all I every wanted.

I worked - In Oviedo I had short stints as an associate at Bath and Body Works and also as a server at an Italian restaurant.  I already knew before either one of these jobs that I would not like to be in retail or service and they both proved me correct.  After that I got a job at a daycare center and was placed in the younger 1's room.  I got the ones that were 12-18 months.  Not long after starting most of them moved to the older 1's room and I moved with them.  They were my buddies I wanted to stay with them.  That also moved me into the room with Sarah, the other teacher.  We butted heads when I first started but we are still friends now, even though she lives across the country and I haven't seen her in years!  I loved that job and can still remember the kids names and all their little quirks.  Atlanta, I had moved there to help my brother and his partners open their restaurant.  I helped with the build-out and the construction and then when the restaurant opened I worked in the kitchen.  After a little while they decided to open another restaurant so I helped with that build-out too.  So child care and construction, that's what I did in my 22nd year.

I wanted to be - a mom, plain and simple.  It really is all I ever wanted to be.  I went to school a few times, at a few different schools but it never stuck.  I had no ambition to get a degree.  There were other things that I thought I'd be good but nothing that made me want to get it done.  Actually at this time I did drive from Atlanta to Orlando a few times to audition at Disney.  I usually auditioned for the cruise line or Tokyo Disney, etc.  Something that would get me out and about.  Sadly I was never chosen.  They usually only had a couple spots open and there were always girls there who had already done Disney stuff.  Also, in a room of 50 girls I was always in the tallest 5 or so.  I think, especially for the Tokyo thing (which would have been amazing!)  I was simply too tall.  Unless they were doing a Godzilla theme, which isn't very Disney.  At least I can say I tried.  Dancing was still second to mommyhood though.  That is really what I wanted.

Now...

At 33...
I live - in an Apartment/Townhouse in Boca Raton with my husband, son, daughter and our Black Lab, Kirby.  We own a place in Jupiter but rent it out and haven't lived there in a couple years, it was our first home as a family.  We love where we are living now, though!

I date - my husband of 7 years.  He's really cute :)  He's my High School sweetheart too.

I drive - a Green-ish 2005 Honda Pilot.  WIth plenty of room for the kids and the big 'ole dog in the back.  It has been all over the place as well, to the Keys, camping and up to DC.  We also have a red 2001(?) Jeep Wrangler.  I've always wanted a Wrangler.  I love driving it!

I fear - for my children.  I still don't worry about me so much.  I'm not reckless but I'm ok with me and what could happen.  I am worried about how it will affect the kids, but I think they'd be ok.  I am not ok with all the terrible things that could happen to my kids.  I have gone over so many different scenarios in my head from natural disaster to the more tragic and personal things and how I think I could/would handle them.  I of course don't want to ever want to find out for real.  It does scare the shit out of me.

I work - for my kids.  I'm a SAHM (stay at home mom).  Just like I always hoped I would.  Though the  young one will be heading off to school soon, so I'm prepping myself for having to get back in the work force.  Maybe that's why I started biting my nails again.

I want to be - the best version of me I can.  I don't want to be perfect and I don't want to be great.  I just want to be me...only thinner.





I am grateful for my past, it made me who I am, and that is someone and something I am proud of today.