June 06, 2013

That Lost Feeling...

I haven't posted in a month and a half, oh my!  In that time, it has been raining almost non-stop and flooded a few times, at one point roads were closed and AJ's classroom flooded!  We have attended a couple birthday parties.  We spent a day at a farm.  We said goodbye to AJ's VPK teacher and school as she retired and they closed the center.  We spent a day at Gumbo Limbo with school friends.  I hosted a 'Princess Bride' themed bunko.  Many wonderful things have happened at Jasey's job.  We cleaned up trash from the side of the road.  We had a couple pool days when the rain let up long enough, Kirby got to go swimming too.  M and D got engaged!  We rode our bikes to school, many times.  We've celebrated silly holidays.  An event 16+ years in the making finally took place.  We went out for a special breakfast on Mother's Day.  I got a new hair cut.  I found out one of my oldest friends is pregnant, yeah!  AJ turned 6!!!  He got a new bike for his birthday.  We had a water balloon fight.  Ryan started riding AJ's old bike.  We hunted for Pirate's treasure.  We went to a school dance and ice cream party at AJ's school and an end of the year party or his class.  We have our first named storm of the season, Tropical Storm Andrea!!  Finally, AJ's last day of Kindergarten was today. :(

Here is a picture of the kids from Mother's Day...cause they're cute :)

And a picture of Kirby swimming in M&Ds pool...cause he's cute too :)

:) I love those three creatures.  

As you can see, I haven't forgotten, we've been busy.  Not only that, but every time I thought of a topic to write about that intrigued me I managed to talk myself out of it, it wasn't my place or it was at a point that I couldn't really write about it yet, no matter what I wanted to say.    Now it's been so long that I feel kinda weird diving into an in depth topic.  

So I'm going to write about something else. 

Have you ever had that feeling...a pit in your stomach feeling...the feeling that you are naked...like you've lost or forgotten something?  Of course sometimes there are real, not very pleasant, reasons for those feelings.  But many times that feeling is for the silliest thing.  I've had the naked feeling when I forget to put my rings back on.  I can remember many times from when I was young that my mom would wonder if she left the iron on.  And, of course, it is inevitable that whenever you leave for a trip you check 14 times for your passport or camera and then still feel like you forgot something.  

Just yesterday morning I left to take AJ to school and realized I forgot my phone.  True I was headed back home after I dropped him off but honestly it didn't bother me to not have my phone.  If Jasey or mom had tried to call me and I didn't answer...well that's a different story.  Although they don't get quite as upset as they did when I was pregnant and didn't answer :)  There is usually one thing that most people will turn around for if the've forgotten it at home, even if it's only for the day.

My thing is not my phone.

For me, it is my keys.

I know that sounds weird since usually you need your keys to go anywhere.  But there are times we take the Jeep or we are in mom's car or I am riding my bike or even when we are on vacation.  If I don't have my keys I feel a little bit out of control.  My stomach does a little flop.

When we go to someones house Jasey is very good about placing the keys in a certain spot.  Though that spot varies to wherever he happens to be standing, is often not in the most convenient area and placement is likely to be forgotten by the end of the evening.  I grab them and put them in my purse.  When I ride my bike I have the garage clicker in my purse so I don't need to go anywhere near my car and I don't need keys to get into the house but I still have my keys in my purse.  Most times while on vacation I will leave a spare key for my car, if needed, and take my keys with me.  If I leave my keys when we leave I will make a mental note and then tell a few people that I left them so they can reassure me when I freak out because I can't find them.  

As I'm writing this I realize it sounds more extreme than it actually is but for some reason I feel like my keys are my life line.  I feel losing them would be like losing my security.  I wouldn't by any means be cool, calm and collected if I actually lost my phone but if I know that it is sitting on the kitchen counter I am ok with it being there until I get home.  I like when it is away from me for a while.  But when I forget my keys I have a little panic attack and have to make myself think about something else.  Unless I actually need my keys I do not go back and get them but I do think about where they are or where they were the last time I saw them to reassure myself that they are not lost.  I know in my head that it's not a big deal but the initial realization that my keys are not with me kinda freaks me out.   

What is your thing?  What item do you need to have with you at all times?  Do you feel lost or out of control without it?  Would you turn around to go get it?

Not the most exciting post...blame it on the rain that continues to fall, it's making my brain mushy.  I guess I should blame myself for that, TS Andrea!! 

I'm thankful that I have keys to worry about.

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